Our first of many hospital stays

   A wise friend told me to make sure I blog. Not only so people can stay informed, but also so Elijah can look back and read about what he overcame. So if it seems I am too forthcoming with details, its because I want to remember everything... even the pain. I know that sounds weird, but what I have noticed this last week is how strong my son is physically, mentally, and emotionally.. he is downright amazing.

  The second day in the hospital Elijah underwent a minor surgery to place a central line in his chest. I was supposed to be called in to the recovery area after he came out of surgery, but in a rather unfortunate and upsetting turn of events was left in the waiting room for over an hour. When I finally inquired as to why it was taking so long I was told they had already taken him back to the pediatric unit to his room. I burst into tears and took off running towards his room. When I arrived I can tell he is upset and in pain. I immediately tell the nurse he needs pain meds and sit down next to him and he reaches for my hand. I have to pause here and say this hand holding thing is new. Elijah has autism and he is not big on affection, to be honest I am not either, but Elijah has specifically asked me to hold his hand enough times now that it has become natural, now instead of asking he just reaches out and I grab hold. I say to him "Hey it's ok to be mad... I'm mad too, if I could take all of this pain you're feeling and put it in my body I would buddy". He starts crying for the first time since we found out he has cancer, and I cry with him. It only lasts a minute and then he looks at me and asks "Will you please wipe my tears?" and I do.  

 Elijah handled his first round of chemo very well. He was nauseous but never threw up (shout out to peppermint essential oil) He was in pain and worked through it. He was sarcastic at all the right times, a nurse asked him how he was doing as he was doubled over in pain and Elijah responded " Oh I am doing just AMAZING.." :)

We are home now and will start a once a week 4 day chemo treatment for 3 weeks starting January 23rd. Please pray that Elijah's body stays strong and healthy. The dynamic in our family changes drastically when we are gone. It is so weird to not be together. Pray for the other kids as they are forced to adapt as well.

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn't say how overwhelmed Gus and I are by the show of support we have received. There are nights when we sit on the couch after everyone is asleep and recount all of the many ways we have been blessed by our amazing family and friends. Thank you to everyone who has supported us in any way.. financially, emotionally and prayerfully. We are forever grateful.

 

Starting a journey you never wanted to go on

How do you prepare for the hardest year of your life? 

One thing I keep coming back to is that God heard our prayers. We prayed that whatever was in Elijah's arm would be nowhere else, and it isn't. Those two words literally became like a chant I did as I tried to get through the holidays. I would be walking through the mall with the hustle and bustle and christmas music, in my head I would be praying "Nowhere else, nowhere else, please God, nowhere else." 
 What is my new prayer? Since we found out Elijah does have osteosarcoma the last two days it's a simple prayer .. "Help us" or when I see Elijah in pain "Help him" I am learning that in times of extreme trial and pain, simplicity is key, I love you's are even more powerful, and friends and family are key to survival. 
 So... as I look forward to the weeks, months, years ahead I want to say Thank you to everyone who has prayed and reached out to us. Just like I said to Elijah yesterday as we drove away from the first of many more hospital visits "We are a team, we are in this together, its ok to be scared.. I love you"